Days 187-247

So I failed to write.  Actually, that's not really the case... I decided to live life rather than be worried about writing about it. Although I do enjoy the nature of this blog and keeping track of the small things, I also want to enjoy life.

I am just going to say I missed about 60 days since I missed all of July and August in the writing department - and the last 60something days have been chalk full of happy moments - mixed in with the various feelings of anxiety, sorrow and angst.  It happens. It's life.

Talking with a friend late into the night, she expressed her desire to stop with negative thoughts and replace them with positive. While I admire the pursuit, I also forewarned her that we should be careful not suppress emotions that are really just a part of life. It's one thing to dwell entirely in a negative light, and I think most that dwell in this are likely to completely bypass feelings of peace and contentment, but it's another thing to just accept our emotions and happenings.

Anyway, I will stop my soapbox for now.  Some highlights for me over the last couple of months:

• Traveling - to Portland, Seattle, mountain towns
• Random adventures - rafting, sea kayaking, mountain retreats
• Musical endeavors - gigs at distilleries, coffee shops, jamming
• High places - the 39th floor of a high rise in downtown Denver (stunning views)
• Gods provision - people providing through spontaneous work opportunities, offering places to stay, plane tickets
• Reuniting with friends - seeing people along the travels
• Games - I love nerdy games!
• Distilleries - Still Cellars
• Children - nannying in Denver, Seattle, and hangin with kiddos in between
• Discovery - learning about prayer and prophecy - seeing prophecies come to fruition
• Exercise - I go stir crazy when I can't be active!! Sooo thankful I can be active again.
• Positive people.

I sometimes think on it and I feel I really do live a charmed life.  I have my share of financial anxiety or lack direction on what's next, but it's really not so bad. In fact, it's quite good. I have friends and family who love me, I have people watching out for me, I get invitations to do things I love...

For people who actually read this, I will be making efforts to become consistent once more. For the 365 Days.  Haha.  What are we at? 247 (because I skipped over 60...) so here's to the final 100some.

Days 186-187: Self Discovery

"What am I doing with my life?" 

This question seems to be a common one amongst many of my friends. Part of me wonders if it's just something all younger adults go through until there are some boundaries to contain their possibilities. It just seems so common.

While I'm no longer necessarily grappling with this specific question, I am still in a time of self discovery and analysis. Living with counselors and spending time with many others mulling over questions of large life pictures seems to provoke this type of thinking (which is, at times, overthinking).

One of my counselor friends has become a specialist in inner kinetics. It's like a broken down, more specific variation of the Myers Briggs personality tempermentss and takes a combination of two dominating elements that will somehow explain the makings of an individual. (It should be noted that we all agree that these types of tests are meant more as guidelines rather than rules, and all people can identify with all traits in certain moments.)

In Myers Briggs there are 4 different identifying characteristics people "test" into:

1. Introvert or Extrovert (I or E)
2. Intuitive or Sensing (N or S)
3. Feeling or Thinking (F or T)
4. Judging or Perceiving (J or P)

My entire life, I've tested as an INTJ in Myers Briggs. More recently I tested as an INTP - the first change I've seen in quite some time, but even with a test and differing results, I've always found it best to talk with experts on the matter - as generally a test tries to compartmentalize us and as humans, it's just not possible to get it completely right. That said, I've been going through this breakdown with my counselor friend, David. (His name includes a link to his counseling website in case you're in the Denver Metro area and want to gain some insight on your own inner workings.)

As we met today I felt myself becoming anxious because I don't like how these tests try to put us in boxes, but through some discussion, we concluded that I'm still a J - which doesn't really mean I'm judgmental but one of the big differences between someone who harbors the J is that they like to make a decision and move on - they don't like the decision making process.  I absolutely hate the decision making process, but I understand that sometimes, like right now, I'm in a season of making decisions.  People who have the perceiving side are okay with things being open ended, something of which I'm not particularly fond.

It was good to talk through this, because obviously the test had taken me as something else. Furthermore, it was good to talk through all of the different areas because we started toying with the idea that perhaps I'm more sensing than intuitive. As we read about the different "temperaments" of people, he encouraged me to sit with a new prospect of being ISTJ. I won't get into too many details, but many things that experts have said regarding this temperament are actually quite fitting for me.

I'm in a place of transition and that certainly affects how I'm feeling in relation to things of this nature, but I'm so thankful for my friends to help me sort through the chaos in my mind.  No test can truly tell someone who they are - or what they are meant to do - but it will always fascinate me to discover more about myself and why I am the way I am.

If you want to take a quick Myers Briggs test for yourself:

The Test

Days 177-185: Life

Well... quite honestly, life has been wild, unpredictable, and fulfilling the last week.  I've experienced both highs and lows, but I do believe that is what life is all about. Experience, discovery, learning, and pursuit. Leading to an even more ultimate life, I had concluded a while back that I wanted to leave people feeling empowered and positively impacted by me - whether in passing or in more frequent contact.

I also just want to live. After watching Mr. Nobody and pursuing impacting quotes from the movie, one that kept turning up was this:

"I am not afraid of dying. I am afraid I haven't been alive enough."  

To live is to experience all aspects of life - and with that, I do feel like we will go through a variety of emotions and feelings.  Overall, my life is content.  I feel I've found (read: heard) my calling - which is so much more than can be said for most of my peers. 

The past weeks have included breakfasts, cooking, exercise, children, soccer, new friends, forgiveness,  affirmation, music, and accomplishment.  All things I love. Thrown into the mix there have been moments of disappointment, frustration, annoyance, anxiety, and doubt. This is life.

I will choose to embrace all of the many elements.

Days 174-176: Adventure Weekends & Rafting

One thing I love about Colorado is the access to a plethora of mountain towns - many within a few hours drive. 

Salida, CO is a little, artsy town where a couple of my best friends from college grew up. Each year for the past few years they've returned to Colorado for occasions and I've driven out to be with them - and loved this town. The Arkansas River runs through it and provides a great atmosphere for restaurants and pubs along the river. It's also home to the annual river boating festival FIBArk (First In Boating on the Arkansas).

This year some friends of mine wanted to go out to FIBArk and partake in the festivities and knowing my enjoyment of Salida and also having seen various pictures or comments relating to FIBArk, I thought it was a great opportunity. A car full of ladies packed up and drove out to Salida where we became immersed in the river boating community - free style kayaking, rafting, river paddle boarding, and people just enjoying being out in the mountains, the energy and excitement were strong.

We spent our first night dancing, the next day we watched a parade, races and just enjoyed the quaint restaurants of Salida, on the final day we went rafting. Not only did we go rafting, but we went rafting for all of $9 each.

One of our friend's fathers was once a raft guide and because of this, we were able to just rent a raft and allow him to guide us down the Arkansas. I believe it was Browns Canyon that we went through - which was full of rapids and took about 4 hours to get through.

It was absolutely incredible to be at the front of the raft taking the water head on. As we would crash into rapids the water would cover me and whoever else was fortunate enough to be in its wake and within minutes I would be dry once again. Between the mountains and on the water - two of my favorite things - it was glorious.

Only on a couple of occasions did I feel as though I might fall out of the raft or that the rapids were a little insane, but those were also the moments of absolute thrill and triumph.

The weekend was rejuvenating and even in reminiscing I feel refreshed all over again.  Something about being with the earth and experiencing the creation is magnificent.  I adore it.

Day 173: The World Cup

I love soccer. My brother played while growing up and I wanted to do everything my brother did, so I played. He was even my coach at one point (looking back on this, I wonder how old he was when he was "coaching" us and how that was even allowed). Anyway, eventually it was only my brother playing soccer and we went on family trips on a weekly basis to his soccer games all over the state.

Perhaps it was just being around the sport, but I grew to be quite attracted to men with soccer physique, so when high school hit I slyly signed up to be the manager of the Men's Varsity Soccer Team. I was excused from my classes to go on trips with the team and be in close proximity to the guys I thought were so cute.

That said, it should come as no surprise that I love the World Cup - and I love that people actually gather to watch soccer during it.  It's like the Olympics, it's a large worldwide event that unites us all if even for a moment in time.

Day 173 marked the beginning of Brazil's World Cup and regretfully being behind on the blog posts, it's now been going for a while. Some wild games, some crazy plays, and, most importantly, a lot of attractive men. (I'm kidding. Mostly. But they are good looking guys!)

Day 172: Mr. Nobody

Movies are always hit or miss for me, but when I was younger I had a love for the philosophical, deep, artistic and creatively cinematic movies. I loved movies that provoked thought and emotion beyond the surface. I rarely cried, so I would often use these movies as an excuse to cry and contemplate life and all of its complexities.

When my roommates started watching Mr. Nobody I dismissed it but didn't really have much else to do, so I opted to watch with them. Pleasantly surprised, this movie was one to play with the mind, present thoughtful ideas, and have a deeper impact than most mindless movies people may opt to watch these days.

The first line to catch my attention, "How can you be so sure you actually exist?" reflected on the fact we see others existing around us but we don't see ourselves from their perspective. Existentialism has always, and probably always will, been a great fascination for me - and perhaps a philosophy to which I truly closely relate. That would be a blog post in itself, or perhaps even a conversation to discuss how one can be both an existentialist and a Christian, so I will stop from getting too deep with it right now.  Nonetheless, this is the line that drew me in.

Going forward I will simply say there will likely be some spoilers regarding the movie, so if you haven't seen it yet, then I will say I recommend watching it. You may hate it, but that's the beauty of free thinking, we can choose what we like and don't like.

In the movie Mr. Nobody is presented early on with a choice between three young girls. He comments, "As long as you don't choose, everything remains possible."  In this regard, he experiences different paths with each of the girls. Following each of the paths, he has more choices to make and continues to not make those choices - keeping everything as a possibility. This element of the movie is what demands attention in order to have understand, but this element of the movie is also incredibly thought provoking and perhaps the concept that continue to pull me in.

As the movie reflects on the life of Mr. Nobody and all of his potential paths, he is eventually posed the question that the entire audience has been considering, "Which path is the right path?"

Mr. Nobody, then responds with this little nugget of wisdom that, "Every path is the right path." Through the entirety of the movie, I reflected on my own choices and decisions I will make regarding the future. I was presented with three different options, and unfortunately reality forces me to choose something - whether it's one of the three options, something different, or choosing to simply not choose.

We saw in the three paths of his life that each path ended differently - with struggles and triumphs, and ultimately, he could have chosen any of the three. I will not spoil which one we all believed he SHOULD have chosen, but it was a good reminder for me that any of the three options I pick will have its share of good and bad - but that all paths are "right" in some sense.

Believing my life is guided by a Divine Being also reassures me that whatever path I take will be useful and prosperous as long as I am continuing to listen and watch for God's cues in my life.  It ultimately doesn't help me with the decision, but it was a fantastic movie full of wise words for someone faced with options from which to choose.

And one last quote...

Days 169-171: Kids, Endurance, Open Conversations

Upon returning to Colorado after my trip, I was met with more scheduled happenings in my life. I enjoyed being met with one of my several new friends at the airport, having a great conversation with her over dinner and opening up about some of my recent life happenings.

It's a good friendship when open honesty seems both welcome and safe - and I feel so incredibly lucky to have met some folks with whom this is a reality.

I was called at the last minute to take care of several families children during a meeting, and because I like being dependable, I left conferences and other plans to help with this need. The way children think and interact fascinates me to no end and I found myself in a night of wonder and magic. From the memorized songs and choreography from Frozen, to the minute a child started crying only to be laughing within the following seconds, I could join them in their world or observe and consider what their world really looks like.

Looking back on my own childhood, I recall it to be full of adventures that I created in my own mind. Running outside on the hills with my dog, making "tacos" using leaves and different colors of dirt, memorizing all of the words to soundtracks that we had. I mostly remember the fun times - and all of the stories I'm told of myself are also imaginative and fun.

To join in for a night was a blessing and to be the reliable person to show up at the last minute was also a happy moment for my day.

In all of these days and seeing my schedule explode, I realized my thankfulness for my time management skills and ability to endure through events and daily life.  My introversion will frequently offset my capacity to spend more time with people and at events, but somehow I've developed endurance over the years - and it made those days that much more enjoyable.

Days 166-168: Flying, New Friends, Gifts

Following my revelation, I left on a trip to Tucson, AZ.  I was gifted the flights by another person in the ministry and was able to attend a regional conference.

I adore flying, I know I've said it before, but it's still true.

I think I'll always love it. I do find it fascinating when I hear people express their fears of planes - and when I really think about it, I get it. It's very bizarre that we have a large, heavy vehicle that can be powered into the sky full of people and other items and proceed to stay in the sky for hours on end. 

Tucson was really gorgeous - I've never been there before, but I really just couldn't help but marvel at the beauty. I was able to mull over some of my decisions and develop some big questions for myself as I start taking steps forward - and in the midst of that, I made some new friends.

It seems I've made a lot of new friends recently and I really do enjoy it. Sometimes humanity just seems hopeless and I question whether someone will truly be there for me the next day or not. This is, in fact, one thing that propels my relationship with God further forward and works to deepen my faith.  I occasionally thank humanity for their failures for this reason, but in truth, I would love to feel I could depend on someone. The new friends I made in Tucson will, of course, be at a distance from me but I'm glad to have had the opportunity to interact with them even if only for a few days for the time being.

What a fantastic gift I was given to be able to take this trip.

Days 164-165: Feeling Peace

Being faced with a multitude of decisions over life can become daunting and paralyzing - at least it becomes so for me.

As I've been back in Colorado I've felt a sense of loss in my purpose and place in the world - I know I have gifts to offer but just wasn't really finding a place to offer them. Never in my life have I been turned down for jobs that were perfect for me - some might blame the economy or say I was over-qualified for jobs to which I was applying, but I truly believe it was more than that.

As the doors were closing in my face there was one door continuously being presented as open - a door into the world of college campus ministry.  If it wasn't ever presented clear enough in my previous posts, my faith is a big part of my life and in the past I worked with a college ministry.  I loved it, but I left it one key reason: I didn't want to raise my own income with support from others.

Doors closing, and this one still being open and seeming to beckon me at every chance it got, I took a day to just consider the prospect of recommitting to this ministry. After discussions with people who showed great support in the decision to go back to it, I prayed and in my prayers I sobbed. I told God that if He really wanted me to work in this ministry then I would submit to the support raising.  At this point, I felt an overwhelming amount of peace.  Not only did I feel peace I haven't felt in quite some time, but as I expressed this decision to others I was met with excitement and affirmation beyond that which I could have imagined.

From the e-mails of celebration on my decision, to the folks jumping up and down in joy that I would be rejoining their mission...  Peace.

And what a great thing.  Even as I talk with my peers and others in their twenties - we all go through the question of what we are supposed to be doing and where we are supposed to be.  (At least most of us.)  I am happy and content to say that I now know and understand what I'm meant to do.

Days 160-163: New Friends, Nature's Wonders

The day following the concert at Red Rocks I woke up to a random stranger in my house.  Not a roommate, but I assumed he was associated with one of my many roommates - and sure enough when he introduced himself, I'd heard his name on several occasions.

We talked a bit, ate breakfast, celebrated me paying off my last student loan, and somehow started talking about music. When something is a part of your life, it comes up... so in our talks of music I learned he was a guitarist and has a couple of CD's. After listening to 30 seconds of one song I was convinced I would probably enjoy jamming with him - and he shared the hope.

I moved a weekend adventure departure to the following morning and we went and jammed with another friend of his for the night. I just love making new friends that are both encouraging and understanding of me in various facets. This new friend has proven to be both - and in the last month I've only seen him twice.

The following morning a roommate and I left for the Sand Dunes in Colorado. It's just as bizarre as it sounds... but there is a national park in Colorado where there are wondrous Sand Dunes formed within the mountains of Colorado.

We spent the first night of being there walking through the magnificent little river at the bottom of the dunes - created by melting snow from the winter.  The water was warmed by the sun and cooled as the night when forward. Only a few inches deep the entire length of the river, but there are surges in the water that make it seem like the waves coming ashore at the ocean.  

According to the website:

Medano Creek and Sand Creek are unusual in another way. This is one of the few places in the world where one can experience surge flow, a stream flowing in rhythmic waves on sand. Three elements are needed to produce the phenomenon: a relatively steep gradient to give the stream a high velocity; a smooth, mobile creekbed with little resistance; and sufficient water to create surges. In spring and early summer, these elements combine to make waves at Great Sand Dunes. As water flows across sand, sand dams or antidunes form on the creekbed, gathering water. When the water pressure is too great, the dams break, sending down a wave about every 20 seconds. In wet years, waves can surge up to a foot high!

This is what we experienced, for sure... and it was marvelous. Looking down I felt as though I was on the beach and could not comprehend that I was still in the land locked state of Colorado.

The following days we rode our bikes in the scorching heat, took pictures on the dunes, rolled down the sandy hills, hiked up to waterfalls and just enjoyed nature - all while still camping in a forested area next to green mountains.  Incredible.

On the last day we hiked the dunes - and there are named peaks although it seems the wind likely changes the formation of these dunes on a regular basis.  We hiked to High Dune - taking a rigorous path in the blazing sun, we made it up our endless stair climber where we were told that people must touch the stick in order to officially make it to the top.

It was an unexpected adventure for me, but I'm so thankful for my roommate's desire to visit this anomaly and take me with her. I am still in awe that this place exists and will likely visit again in the future when missing sandy beaches.  What a fantastic creation.

Day 159: Concerts at Red Rocks Amphitheater

I first went to Red Rocks Amphitheater last summer for a series called, "Film on the Rocks." They were showing movies in this giant venue and thousands of people were showing up to watch them all together.  It was rather incredible, as we watched The Princess Bride and hundreds of people quoted the movie together, broke into uproarious laughter, and enjoyed this classic movie out in a gorgeous, natural creation.

I made it a goal to go back to this place for a concert after I missed the Mumford and Sons concert there in 2013. It's odd that it would be such a big regret, but I honestly had no idea that this venue was as spectacular as it is.

I was finally presented with an opportunity to see several bands I love with a friend of mine with whom I used to attend concerts in college. Earlier in the day I'd heard it was going to rain and it put me in a sad mood since I'd been looking forward to this concert. Upon arriving we were escorted to the upper parking lot (luck, I say) and found our way up to our seats.

American Authors, The Script, One Republic... none disappointing. It did not rain. It was the magic I believed it would be... I felt high from the atmosphere and performance. I cannot deny that this could easily become an addiction at the level of joy it delivered to my soul.

P.S.  Many apologies for the sudden lack of posts. The joys and lessons of life just picked up in a way I did not anticipate. I will be posting on some of my adventures in bulk days - as I went on several day excursions over the last month.

Day 158: The Earth & Fun Parents

I've never had much of a green thumb - in fact, I'd wager to say I have a bit of a brown thumb. Even so, I've lived with a variety of individuals with green thumbs aplenty - and today one of my current roommates asked me to help her with planting some of her garden.

I dug around in the dirt, looked at bugs, moved worms (with a rake since ...I am not touching those), planted green things, watered, accidentally got sprayed with the hose, and it was really just a nice time. Digging in the dirt was peaceful, and the bugs were somewhat fascinating. I don't even like bugs but it was interesting anyway.

I hope the garden doesn't die due to the presence of my brown thumb, but it was a really nice time to just be.

And for a funny thing... I sometimes can't wait to be a parent just so I can do funny things to my kids and this article hits a bunch of parents who have capitalized on the silliness.
Geeky Parents Who Think Outside of the Box

Day 157: Jamming with Great Musicians

Lately I've been jamming with a lot of different musicians and tonight I met with some folks who have been singin and playin together for a year and I absolutely adore their sound.  They were also pretty excited about me so it was a great jam all around.  Top off the music with being outside watching the sunset... and tonight was just fantastic.

Also excited to be caught up with my blog!  Hooray!

Day 156: Aesthetic Beauty

Okay... So this is actually about Game of Thrones.  I read the books last year - those that have been published, at least - and just recently was able to start watching the TV series. While the show itself has its share of elements I don't love (I hate blood, kids... so why do I watch? I don't know.) but the intro is just soooo aesthetically pleasing that I watch it everytime I watch the show - and I have watched at least an episode a day. Take a look for yourself.  It's well created and includes enough details that I find myself watching for new details every time.

Also aesthetically pleasing lately has been Colorado... the storms have cleared out leaving a brand new, freshly washed growth with scattered clouds over the mountains and sun pouring down over the valley.  It's gorgeous.  The sounds of birds singing outside is always nice as well.

Day 155: Learning

Life happens. We make mistakes. We learn from those mistakes. We move forward... That is life - happening.

I spent Day 155 mostly in reflection on recent mistakes. Self evaluation and consideration are always at hand.  Self respect, self worth, self value, passion, strengths, weaknesses, joys, sorrows, pleasures, pains; Who am I? What am I doing? Why am I here?

One thing I continue to embrace is that we are always learning. And although not every choice or movement is ideal, we learn from each of those choices and movements. I am happy I love myself to acknowledge that one failure does not mean the failure of my life.  In fact... it's just something more from which I might learn.

They say, "live and learn," and that's truly what life is all about. Living life and learning from it.

Day 154: Thunderstorms

Denver has had a spell of tornado warnings recently - so there has been no shortage of storms.

Rain.. although I do not enjoy walking in rain on regular basis, I love the sound of rain.  The roar of thunder - the flash of lightning - and the sounds of nature in powerful display is something I love.

I went on a date with myself - independence, folks - and then went to meet up with friends later.  As I got onto the train I heard about some tornado warnings, and as I was riding on the train watched as the sky put on a demonstration of indescribable potency.  It was magnificent.

I love the rage we see in the universe at times.  It is awe-inspiring and fear-striking all at once. There is just nothing else quite like it.

Day 153: Contemplative Walks

On Friday, I woke up and decided to walk to a thrift store while thinking about my place in life.  It goes along with my current independent streak - walking somewhere alone and just kind of experiencing life that way.  It was nice.  No noise from the outside world that I didn't welcome into it... and good for my heart.  I love walking - it's interesting how much something so simple can be forgotten when unable to do it for a longer period of time.  But I'm glad to have refound it, as I've been taking many walks on my own since then - and each of them is delightful.

Day 152: New Places

Man... Day 152 actually had a lot of things I enjoy: an airport run, meetings with friends, gifts, and... I went to a new place.  A new coffee shop in a suburb of Denver I haven't spent much time in, and I don't know what it was, but I was in love with the place.

Maybe it was that I was going somewhere new and experiencing new things, but I just felt an overwhelming amount of peace in this outskirt.

My meetings were great and contemplative - lasting several hours - and later in the evening I was able to jam with a friend.

Still the highlight of the day was that tiny suburb.  What a delight, you are, Arvada.  I don't know why, but I like you.

Day 151: Mail

Who doesn't like getting mail??? Well, I mean, aside from bills. I adore it.

I received a package on Day 151 - one that I had requested so nothing special... and a few days later I received another expected package with some extra unexpected items include (new license plates!) but both were well received.

I would like to take time to send more mail... if you are an individual whom I know and enjoys receiving mail... you let me know, and we can get that going.

Day 150: Affirming, Encouraging Individuals

When my birthday rolled around there some people who were unable to come to the brunch I'd planned for the day - several of them actually said they wanted to take me out for dinner or lunch or coffee.  On day 150, I was privileged enough to go out with one of them for a delicious lunch.

Not only did we eat great food in a little place that caters to vegan people (which... I'm not.. however, my cheese allergy sometimes appreciates the thinking style of vegans), but we also had some great conversation.

I noted that it was good to see this individual affirmed in her passions, because we share some passion and I was not always met with affirmation - and I'll be honest, I thought it was because I am a woman.  I would still wager to say it is that way, but she speculated that perhaps she was better received than me, or other wonderful friends of mine, because she is older than the rest of us. Perhaps she is right, but I was still happy to see her being given the space and freedom to exercise her passions.

As we were talking she noted that people just aren't really affirming enough - so when I commented on how kind I thought the folks were who'd offered me meals she quickly said that they offered such things because I'm awesome and deserving of such care. Although she may not have said life-changing words, she said something that all people need to hear.

Instead we spend time criticizing and antagonizing those around us, when in reality, we're all going through life together.  We all have flaws, we all have weaknesses, and we all are in need and worthy of affirmation and encouragement.  Instead of looking at others as enemies or competition, we should spend time building one another up.

It was truly a delightful day with her - complete with ice cream, which I also love.

I'm a lucky girl.  And I hope you find people in your life to affirm you as well.

Day 149: Naps

I really have never been a good nap-taker but there are days when I'm sleep deprived and ridiculously exhausted during which a nap is one of the most delightful things.  Beyond myself taking naps, I was nannying on day 149 and the kids napped quite a bit throughout the day because they were also sleep deprived.

It was kind of nice to just kick back and chill with them while we all rested.

I also had a score at the grocery store and was able to make a pretty price-friendly meal for my housemates, which I also count a win in the world of happiness.

Yes, these are small things.. but they all count.

Day 148: Independence

I love doing things alone.  Sometimes I just need to separate myself from the pack and be alone for a bit - even if we experience the same thing... It can be refreshing and lovely.

I'm behind on posts again.  But it's okay.

Day 147: Doing Nothing

Following a week of non-stop action and fun, I slept in and stayed in the house simply doing nothing.

Sometimes that's just the best thing I can do for myself... take a break.

Day 146: The Zoo, Baseball Games

I think I've posted about my love of the zoo before, but I went to the zoo on Friday and it was amazing - save that it was field trip day and there SO many children running all over the place.  Anyway, we got to witness an elephant walking across a bridge over all of us.  He stopped and stuck his trunk out at us and looked at everyone - and then would continue to walk.  Elephants, in general are just amazing.

We also had one monkey that came over near us as soon as we arrived and hung on the cage just 3 feet away staring at us.  It was a curious day for the animals.

Another funny thing to happen was when I saw that this orangoutang was the same age as my brother.  I sent him a text saying "This guy is the same age as you!"  To which my brother responded "Our descriptions are even similar! We are both tall!" ...which I verbally said "He is not tall," referring to my brother.  My dad proceeded to say that he WAS tall - his feet touch the ground.  Oh...dad jokes... I love that man. And the humor of my family.

I'd been playing hostess all week and it was wearing on me, so luckily my dad called Coors Field and got some tickets for us to go see a Rockies game.  I love baseball games - I don't know why, but they are fun.  Perhaps it's because I grew up watching the mariners when they were great, but the atmosphere of the game is just exciting.

Day 145: Mountain Towns

Growing up in a small town in the middle of a valley has given me quite the heart and love of mountain towns. I enjoy that Denver is just a hop and a skip into the mountains - and a short drive from many of the quaint mountain towns in the area: Breckenridge, Vail, Silverthorne, Estes, Evergreen, etcetera.  

We made a trip out to Breckenridge on day 145 and went to the distillery that produces one of my favorite, if not my favorite, whiskey. So... let's count it a full on win, I went to a mountain town and got to tour a great distillery and drink whiskey.

....bonus points to the wild game from Montana my dad grilled up later in the evening - delicious.

Day 144: Pedicures

Something fantastic about having someone else pamper your feet... and coming out with relatively cute toes is always a plus.


It was a good day with my mom and one of my roommates - much of the girl talk.  Man, I love my mom. People can't be reminded enough how much they are loved, and I really feel like I owe my mom a lot more thanks. She paid for my pedicure too... She's a lovely, lovely woman. 


Sorry to ramble about her for so long.  Perhaps it was "Mother's Week" rather than just a day.

Day 143: Folk Concerts

I've been a big fan of folkier type music for quite some time.  I know I posted about Nickel Creek a while back... and I suppose this post will go back to that.

Concerts aren't generally my scene: I don't like crowded spaces and I find it hard to enjoy the music with a million people screaming around me. Folk concerts are usually a bit more into the music and a little quieter in terms of audience. I'm not sure if it's because the fans of folk music all have the same type of sentiment that I have, but I appreciate it immensely.

I loved the Nickel Creek concert in Montana because it was a small venue and people sat in their chairs - with the exception of the few who danced around in the aisles.  As a musician, I find it extremely special when an audience is captivated by music rather than treating it as a background for whatever else they are doing.  So when Nickel Creek performed and everybody sat in awe and listened, ...well shoot, what a special time.

I was able to see Nickel Creek again - reunited - and they are just as incredible as they were before. And even in a much larger venue, had a captivated and appreciative audience.  I actually might even say I liked it even more this go around. As they went their separate ways as musicians, they all worked on their own crafts and I really feel like they came back with a new spark that I may not have seen before. 

I was impressed and excited to have the opportunity to see such quality musicians in concert again - and of course they put on a great encore when the audience continued to clap and scream for a decent amount of time.

Oh folk concerts, I love you. 

Day 142: Gifts Fulfilling Needs

So... I'm not much of a gift receiver. I mean, gifts are cool but I often enjoy giving them more than receiving.  They say that as you get older in life you start asking more for things to fulfill needs rather than simply because they are desired - and I can definitely see this being true. My mom's gift lists are usually "new baking pan" or "tennis shoes" ... the books and hobby-related items, as well... My dad's list took it to a whole new level: deodorant, shampoo, and then books and fishing lures (we all ask for books, it seems).

This year I had on my list a new comforter - because the one I had was down and torn and spitting its down feathers everywhere each night I slept. So... we went on a hunt. And my parents got me a new comforter, a duvet cover, and then we went on the longest quest of my life covering many stores to find new pillows and pillowcases/sheets to go with everything.

So very thankful for this gift - I think it's my first new comforter since high school and these new colors are so much more who I am now.  Mega thanks to my parents.

Day 141: Mothers

Day 141 was Mother's Day and... I am thankful for mothers  - and people who take on the role of mothering.

For this mother's day I was fortunate enough to have my mother in town!  We went to brunch (one of my favorite things), we went shopping (which I don't love, but we held puppies and that was pretty fun), we went to Cirque du Soleil, ate greek food and had a pretty great day together.

My mom has always been supportive and unconditional in her love for me and anybody who takes on these caring roles is to be admired. I know that I can be a brat and I can say terrible things and be ungrateful in moments, yet unconditionally she loves me.  She welcomes my friends into her home, she ask questions about the well-being of others, and very rarely is she selfish in her actions.  She is kind of goofy at times and loves to laugh - as does my whole family.

So... for having my mother in town; for those who show motherly love to children; for Mother's Day ...Joy.

Day 140: Twenty-Seven

Day 140 was my birthday. I had a brunch with friends in the late morning/afternoon and then my parents came to town and we went out for wine and appetizers in the evening.  Both were delightful and enjoyable, but I think the fact I turned 27 actually means something to me.

As I said it to a friend, it is the first age at which I truly feel like a woman.  Like I've crossed out of the weird period of being fresh out of college.  Surely I'm still a "young adult" but I guess this is the first time of being comfortable with being a woman instead of a girl.

I would say all girls are women - young women in college and so on - but there is something different about acknowledging that and feeling comfortable to embrace saying, "I am a woman."  I wonder if it is the same for men  - with terms like "guy" being so applicable at so many ages, at what point does a male look and confidently and comfortably say "I am a man?" (Aside from when he's making some macho point/sarcastic remark.)

I've learned that as life goes on, our exposure to pain is increased, we learn more, and I, personally, find myself "dealing" with life more. Simultaneously, I love myself more and know more of who I am and what I want in life.  I want to be someone that is seen to be caring and generous towards others - and help others in their happiness. I do not want to be a part of the underlying current that goes beneath so many of us in judgment and disrespect. I want to see the good in people rather than vent about the bad (definitely hard sometimes, but something I want, to be sure).

I felt more pain in my 26th year than ever in my life - but it reawakened a creative side that enabled me to write music, and it helped me to really reflect on what I'm doing with myself - what is important -and how to really seek out living the way I want to live.  

All this to say, I'm quite excited about the year to come.  Something about 27 just has that nice ring to it.... so I'll take it.

Day 139: Fitness Programs

On the day on which I was supposed to post day 139 I started a new workout program with a friend. I guess I've gotten sick of my ankle being out of commission - and honestly, even my therapists said that it would continue to hurt for up to a year.  So, I came to the conclusion that I could no longer hold me back from doing things I love: being active.

So we joined this fitness program through BeachBody - Focus T25.  It's 25 minutes a day for 5 days a week with a progression each month to harder material. The first day is cardio - so on day 139 I started the cardio.  I had to modify some for my ankle (pivoting was hard!) but it felt good to be starting something.  Of course each day is something different (Cardio, Speed, Full Body, Abs, Lower body, and Stretching) so some of the days were harder than others, but I was pleasantly surprised when it came back to Cardio yesterday and I was able to do a bit more.

The first part of this program is preparation for the next - so it's focusing on form and making sure everything that should be used is being used properly. This somewhat makes me dread the next part since I am not even able to do everything right now, but I continue to remind myself that I have more time to work on it and by the time the next part rolls around, I'll be fine.

I've never done one of these programs before but it's kind of fun - and fun because I joined the community and have my before pictures and blah blah. It's also fun to try to keep my friend going and on track. It'll be neat to see if there are actually any results.

Ohhhh how I love being active. Endorphins. Feeling good. This will be a good thing if for nothing else than the experiment and the feeling of having been active each day for just a little bit of time.

Day 138: Catching Up

Well, it's been a wild last week or so - between my birthday and family visiting town... so I have some days to catch up on.  Ten of them, I believe.

So... here is my short post to say that I like catching up so that I am no longer behind!  (And here we go!!)

Day 137: Vegetables

I am really thankful for vegetables.

Particularly today, I was really excited to return home and have a meal prepared by a roommate chalk full of veggies.

Yum.

Healthy and delicious.  What's not to love?

Day 136: New Accomplishments

I had a headlight out.  I'm not entirely sure when it happened, but there was a night a few weeks ago when I realized the reflection of my car was lacking one headlight.

In efforts to not get a ticket, I drove with my brights on... Not entirely sure what kind of ticket the brights would amount to, but I figured it was better than one headlight out.

I picked up a bulb yesterday and read my manual a little.  Decided to tackle the change today... and upon opening the hood and unscrewing the part where the headlight is, I was lost.

No idea what to do, I posted on Facebook asking for people that had experience with changing headlights.  I really didn't think it could be that hard, so I felt particularly defeated and helpless while asking for help. One response said I should send him a message and he could give some instruction.

I think he gave me some little advice like, "pop the hood and unscrew the part where the headlight is and change the bulb."  Something I'd already done, but I figured I was just missing something.  I read through the manual a bit more to see some diagrams and eventually found myself in a conversation with my brother while making my attempts.

Lucky for me, my brother has the same kind of car and knew exactly what I was seeing so as I was doing it, he was giving advice, I was staring at the pictures in the manual and trying to follow all of the instructions.

1) Open hood
2) Unscrew plastic thing where headlight is
3) Pick the right color of wire
4) Disarm bomb
...wait.. no...
4) Unplug wire
5) Unhook ridiculous strong latch thing that doesn't want to unhook
6) Remove light
7) Replace light and guess on which direction it should face. Try not to touch it while you're doing it but still replace it.
8) Rehook ridiculously strong latch thing that also doesn't want to hook
9) Screw around with this for a while
10) Replug wire
11) Try to put that plastic thing back over everything even if it doesn't really want to go back on... 
12) Give up and start car just to make sure the right bulb was replaced
13) Feel proud the right bulb was replaced
14) Try to put the plastic thing back on more... 
15) Slam it on... 
16) Shut hood
17) Feel accomplished

....and boy, do I feel accomplished.  And handy and independent. I do have a weird curiosity about my car but I never feel confident to really navigate what is going on for it. So today was just a little triumphant all around. I fixed the fact I had a headlight out - and I did it alone.  (With help from afar.)

Day 135: Web Profile

Well... with all of the articles I've been writing, I actually just have a profile on the NewsCastic website with all of the articles - minus two that are still pending.

<Check It Out>

Like it (facebook style) Tweet it.  Share it.  Do whatever.  If you like them. Don't lie and just like them just because you like me (because I know everybody likes me).

Anyway, what an interesting time - and enjoyable all at once.

Day 134: Waving at People in Cars

Having grown up in Montana, I'm used to the small community in which everybody waves to one another as they pass - whether in a car or on foot. Lately it's been wonderful to see people wave in the neighborhoods.

Today specifically, a little girl was in her driveway and her grandfather asked if she could wave to me... and she did.  He proceeded to tell me she normally doesn't wave at strangers - so I felt even more special then.

Something has happened within our society where we all walk into public spaces with our walls up high. We avoid eye contact on public transportation and use our smart phones or other devices to conveniently give excuse the fact we do not want to interact with humanity.

While I understand this guarded stature to a degree, I also feel like we've made our society to be even more isolating to others. God forbid we include someone in anything as small as a smile or eye contact. I try to be present and I understand times when I may not be feeling so outgoing or social, but I do think this is something we could work on combatting.

Perhaps people wouldn't be so depressed and lonely if they got the occasional smile and wave.  You just never know what that will mean to them.

Day 133: Unexpected Gifts

I've always had a bit of a hard time with holidays feeling as though they've desensitized certain aspects of our lives - Thanksgiving gives us reason to be thankful one day out of the year, New Years enables people to make resolutions on a big date, Christmas is the season in which we give, birthdays we focus on an individual, etc.  I've just always thought it's best to adopt those philosophies all of the time - focus on the people you love daily, give to people always, make resolutions when you feel inspired to do so.

Because these holidays have somewhat instilled the idea that the other days aren't as deserving of these concepts, I find it refreshing when people are displaying the "attitudes" of the holiday when it's not the holiday. It's probably the same beef people have with Valentine's being a day that gets a lot of pressure for people to go on dates - when people should always be wanting to show love and go on dates.  I just carry this over into everything.

Yesterday was one of those days where I was unexpectedly surprised with gifts - and I'm so thankful. I returned home feeling incredibly blessed.  I was given a trip, basically, that will give some insight into my future. Plane tickets and expenses all covered by this wonderful individual all for the sake of hoping to help me figure some things out.

I moved onto my friend's house for a lovely night with fire and wine. In our conversation it came up that she had an extra ticket to a concert this summer - and I don't want to drop names or anything but...One Republic at Red Rocks Amphitheater sounds pretty stinkin awesome.

Later I was gifted farm fresh eggs... and honestly, I don't need any of these things but it doesn't detract from how blessed I am by the offerings.  Truly remarkable.

Day 132: Good Music

Well...  Here I return to music. 

It was a long day from shopping, cleaning, cooking, organizing, biking, browsing, and more of some of those things several times over - and then suddenly there was this guitarist in my house.

It was as though an angel was singing to me while I cleaned and made attempts to be productive. The strings plucked so delicately and in perfect beauty washing over my soul. I was moved. Not only was I moved to tears, but I nearly started bawling - something I don't do often, and certainly not when I'm feeling happy. 

I made my escape before anybody could see tears and turned on some different music in my car, but the music from the house lingered in my mind.

Upon returning home it was still going, and the boy was still sitting there playing his guitar in the most fantastic way.

Truly... one of the more impacting musical moments of my life. I still feel moved. Good music is to be cherished and embraced, and that is what I will do.

Day 131: Dad Jokes

Pretty sure I've posted about dad jokes before but today I saw a list (I LOVE LISTS) of dad jokes that cracked me up...  so here you go.  You're welcome.

34 Greatest Dad Jokes of All Time

Also... in honor of lists and writing articles, I've written a couple more!  Check them out if you so desire!

• 6 Denver Breakfasts Worth Waiting For (because I love breakfast)
• Awesome Denver Non-Profits You Didn't Know About (but should)