Being faced with a multitude of decisions over life can become daunting and paralyzing - at least it becomes so for me.
As I've been back in Colorado I've felt a sense of loss in my purpose and place in the world - I know I have gifts to offer but just wasn't really finding a place to offer them. Never in my life have I been turned down for jobs that were perfect for me - some might blame the economy or say I was over-qualified for jobs to which I was applying, but I truly believe it was more than that.
As the doors were closing in my face there was one door continuously being presented as open - a door into the world of college campus ministry. If it wasn't ever presented clear enough in my previous posts, my faith is a big part of my life and in the past I worked with a college ministry. I loved it, but I left it one key reason: I didn't want to raise my own income with support from others.
Doors closing, and this one still being open and seeming to beckon me at every chance it got, I took a day to just consider the prospect of recommitting to this ministry. After discussions with people who showed great support in the decision to go back to it, I prayed and in my prayers I sobbed. I told God that if He really wanted me to work in this ministry then I would submit to the support raising. At this point, I felt an overwhelming amount of peace. Not only did I feel peace I haven't felt in quite some time, but as I expressed this decision to others I was met with excitement and affirmation beyond that which I could have imagined.
From the e-mails of celebration on my decision, to the folks jumping up and down in joy that I would be rejoining their mission... Peace.
And what a great thing. Even as I talk with my peers and others in their twenties - we all go through the question of what we are supposed to be doing and where we are supposed to be. (At least most of us.) I am happy and content to say that I now know and understand what I'm meant to do.
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