I love how different people are. How there can be a shy extrovert or an outgoing introvert, a social butterfly that pines for alone time... there are health nuts, gym fanatics, book worms, gamer geeks, technology nerds, etc, etc. This list could go on forever simply because there are so many types of people - and many people share attributes from several "types" of people. For example, I say "gym fanatics" and "healthy nuts" which seem like they should go together, but I enjoy the gym and working out, but I also love reading and playing nerdy board games.
It's so easy to put someone in a box in our minds - however they may fit the stereotype as we've seen it in the past. We compare them to ourselves and to the people we've already known in our lives. We find ourselves saying things like, "You remind me of _________." Generally, this statement might mean we've concluded we already know their type, since there is another human that demonstrates similar attributes or personality traits. I'm just as guilty of this, but I am reminded over and over again that it is important to recognize people as unique individuals.
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I sat in on a conversation the other night to discuss community building amongst a larger group of people. Some people in the group found the conversation worthless as they are already working to build community with various individuals. Their efforts were put into a few select activities and shared interests amongst the people, and did not include any thought for the people that may not share those interests. It seems easy, to me, in those cases that they assume everybody else is doing the same things they are - finding others with shared interests and going about their business. However, this is where the individual comes back into play - not everybody operates the same way.
The discussion continued and eventually a woman in the group started to speak on how it has been more difficult for her as she has circumstances that have seemingly prevented her from being able to truly build relationships. It was not until this woman spoke up that the others were open to hearing that different people may require different approaches and work in different ways.
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Another learning experience for me has been with emotional development. When I was younger I was not very emotional. In fact, I found that I felt I was being looked at as weak whenever I cried - even by myself - so I rarely cried (unless provoked by a movie or song that I could shamelessly blame for my own heartfelt tears). That said, it made it hard for me to know how to act around someone who was in a state of emotional turmoil.
In the last couple of years I've come into more understanding of emotions - or ...perhaps not understanding as much as experiencing - and realizing that we all react to things in different and unique ways. We feel things and we are taught in society that our feelings are nothing compared to some other happening in the world. We find ourselves feeling guilty about having an emotion and have two options: suppress the emotion or let the emotion live and experience it.
After some time of thinking on the topic of emotions, I do feel it's important to let the emotion live. Recognize that our own feelings are valid - and instead of looking at someone else as weak when they seem to be going through something, recognize that they are also valid in their feelings whether we understand them or not.
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We are all different. We are all the same. But we are all different. We go through similar experiences. We share interests and stories. We all walk upon the same earth. So why are we living in judgement and comparison of one another? I don't know. But I do know that I appreciate that we are all individuals.
This isn't to say that I hate BuzzFeed quizzes because it uses some algorithm to place us in one of twelve categories, or personality tests, or even that I dislike noticing similarities between people. It's just to say that I appreciate the unique offerings everybody has to this world. And perhaps showing that appreciation to other individuals will encourage more people to embrace what makes them who they are, rather than who someone else decided them to be.
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